Sunday, November 13, 2005
you gave me a glimmer of hope.
with faith i cling on.
let not the patience be tested.
for it is limited.
straddling the fence, i've been for awhile,
make it end for the time is nigh.
we'll make dreams of our own in the sky,
together in the world of our own,
we'll make things fine.
i wish, i hope, i pray.
that things will turn out right.
the heart is heavy, the flesh is weak.
limitations become an obstruction.
skepticism fills a major part of me,
for i am uncertain and dubious of your words and actions.
let not my actions and feelings cross our paths,
for i act upon caution, the love still remains.
give me time to gain assurance.
help me along while i uncover my shell,
and wash away the stains of diffidence.
rid off the equivocal stature i've acquired,
make me learn to trust again, love again.
the way it should be, the way it have been.
simply thoughts.
some incoherent, but just the gist.
i wish i could be oblivious to what's happening,
but sadly, i'm only human.
forgive me for my nonsensical entries.
it's just a way for me to release tension.
as you may know, emotions are not my cup of tea.
battling it gets tough and destructive.
i am so confused.
so unsure.
so doubtful.
so suspicious.
so entangled in thoughts.
i cannot trust.
i cannot accept.
i cannot deal with it.
i need to learn.
stop playing mind games.
i'm mentally exhausted.
in fact, i'm simply exhausted.
in every aspect of my life.
mentally, emotionally, physically.
give me a break.
i wish i could run away.
but that's not the solution.
maybe it is for awhile.
but it'll still surface when i return.
i thought patience would solve it all.
but i've waited and things never changed.
i wonder what's the solution.
i'm boggled.
strength.
something i really need.
will things return to how it was?
will it get better?
can you give me what i need?
action speaks louder than words.
for when trust is broken, it's hard to regain.
nevertheless, i'll try to trust.
for i have faith, that things can turn out right.
that people can change and do great things.
i'll practise what the lord teaches,
for i shall not forgive my brother 7 times, but 77 times.
remember... the love i have for you shall never die...
\\keep the flame burning bright.
