went over to baby's in the morning.
yeah. right after he finished work.
there was absolutely no cars on the road.
dead silence.


so he got on the taxi..
and came to fetch me.
sweet.


but it wasn't sweet for long.
things got a bit rough.
but after a little chat..
in my half asleep state,
things went alright.


ended up sleeping.
got up at bout 12..
just nice for me to leave.
too bad i couldn't stay for lunch.
like how i used to last year.
dad kept calling...


they were home waiting for me.
we had planned to go to the cemetery.
cos last year we din go..
so yeaps. decided to go today..
when the whole family was free.
so i had to rush back.


showered. had lunch.
and off we went.
after the visit to the cemetery,
we went over to my aunty lucy's.
specifically to visit my uncle eric.
he tore his ligament at the knee..
so he just underwent a surgery.
so yupps. we went to visit him.
he's feeling much better already.


after we got there...
jon's friend came...
he has dis little daughter.
her name's catherine..
she's SOOOO cute.
she's not shy..
and best of all.
candy, my cousin's dog,
was afraid of her instead of
the other way round.
hahas. totally hilarious.


after that..
my cousin joyce, her husband,
and her in-laws came..
and den some other people.
heh. stayed there till bout 5+? or 6?
den we came back home.
took a nap... woke up at 9
had my dinner and here i am.
*yawns.
i hate to break sleep.
totally suck.


anyways..
i just realised.
i cannot manage my money.
so this time...
i'm gonna make an effort to.
i will make a list of things i wanna buy.
and then prioritise them.
save up slowly.
i think this is about the only way i'll save.
and also. set aside 50 a week..
so that i wont overspent.
you know how it gets..
when you have a month's allowance..
all chunked into your bank account.
you just spent it all like nobody's business.
so yeah. i'm gonna make an effort.


so here's a couple of things i'm gonna save up for... in no order of ranking.

1. samsung z500
2. digital camera
3. webcam
4. $200 spending money
5. $700 investment money
6. ipod nano 4 gb / ipod photo
(it'll depend on my cash flow)
7. flight ticket to sydney
8. flight ticket to indon.
(to visit my cousin)
9. flight ticket to wherever.
(for a holiday...)
10. many many more. xDD


there are so many things to buy..
but with so little money.
i seriously ought to save...
teach me how...


oh yahh.
i realised something.
it really is a prestige to be in a catholic school.
and also being a catholic.
realised that while i was at church.
seeing all my friends and stuff.
all from the different catholic schools.
we can easily identify ourselves.
it is how like we'll ask each other..
which school are you from?
and then we'll ask...
are you a catholic?
oh really? which church you go to?
and from there we feel the bond.
the similarities..
it just feels like family.
it's amazing. a wonderful gift.
i'll always treasure it... x)
to some of you.. it may not make sense.
but to those on the same boat as me..
you'll understand. ;)


and again..
happy CNY to everyone out there!
hope you're enjoying yourself. ;)

PHOTO ENTRY.

CNY EVE.

my happy grandma

grandma waiting at the door...

grandma opening the door for my uncle louis

BAD PHOTO.
i look so fat and ugly.
i was caught in action..
EATING...

my cousin xav...
and his elder brother noel.
what a spread huh?
this is only the kids table.

my two bros.
justin and ernest.

caught taking photos.
oh gawd. i'm SOOO fat.

the adults table...
in the kitchen. heh.

CNY day 1

grandma and cousin melissa

grandma and cousin ronald

uncle louis, uncle matt,
uncle song, his son john,
his wife aunty anna, grandma
and caroline

just sitting around.

my loving parents!

the line dance gang.

having lunch.
HUNGRY... can't wait.

uncle song, john, caroline and aunty anna.

the gathering...

the four ladies..
aunty molly, my mom, aunty chris and aunty suzanna

gawd.
PLEASE EAT YOUR MEALS,
before you do cleaning.
i went all weak.
my mind was a whirl.
my head was giddy.
i almost fainted.


anyways.
went over to my grandma's for reunion dinner.
hahas. everyone else ate rice..
i had to eat porridge. so weird.
yeaps. cos of my throat.


and as usual..
our blackjack game after dinner.
all the cousins.
we played with coins of cos.
hahas. i was the banker for 10 rounds.
made money lah. $3+ i think.
hahas. not bad huhhh?
den xavier took over.
think he lost money. heh.
poor cad.


after that we had a little gathering..
in the living room.
started talking about all sorts of stuff.
at the same time..
some of them were glued to the tv..
some were glued to the laptop
(uncle bought and left it at grandma's)
and some were glued to my uncle's video cam.
oh wells.
oh yeah! and my mom and aunty suzanna..
as usual.. line dancing.
hahas. but it was really noisy and bustling.
very nice atmosphere.
the whole family together..
enjoying ourselves x) love CNY!


and yes.
ANG POW TIME!
collected two already.
from grandma and uncle louis.
yes. the BIG ones xDDD
more to collect tomorrow.
yipeee!


sheesh.
sound so greedy la.
ok... i should sleep early tonight.
gotta go to church tmr morning.
den it's back to grandma's place for lunch.
den over to mama's place.
mom's side. x))



lalalala. I LOVE CHINESE NEW YEAR.
wishing all CHINESE out there...
GONG XI FA CAI..
XING NIAN KUAI LE.
HONG BAO NA LAI!
*pouts. heh.

sorry. i've been sick.
but here's just a rough idea..
what i bought with 80bucks?
good bargain i must say...


because i'm sick,
i havent been able to update.
been cutting classes.
cos i've been on mc.
for 3 days mind you...
and i've been rather weak.


yeah. i'm down with the common flu..
together with my usual thonsilitis.
yeah. for those who don't know.
it's an inflammed thonsil.
starts off with a sore throat.
seems to be that everyone's getting sore throat.
it's annoying..
cos it's CNY!!!
i'm gonna miss out on the goodies.
grrrr...
cant even help my mum taste her tarts.
oh yeah.. my mom makes the BEST pineapple tarts.
if you EVER have the chance,
you MUST try it. *winks


so much for wanting to keep it short and sweet
here's the photo...













roxy bikini for 30bucks.
(i couldnt resist... jean bought TWO!)
a dark brown handbag from dorothy perkins.
that cost me 13bucks.
new future white skirt for 21bucks.
(wanted to buy pants. but thought i wouldnt fit)
and the cheapo shirt from baleno.
14bucks... just wanted to grab and go...
couldnt find something else to buy...


not quite sure if that's what i wanna wear though.
hahahs. i'm rather fickle minded.
but i'm sure i'll make use of it...
someday.. i hope. =x

the most boring class ever!
stupid and makes you sleepy.
especially if you have a cocky teacher.
*YAWNS.


before this was MOB...
two groups did their presentation today.
well.. rather dry.
after that was break.
we had something to eat..
den rehearsed our skit again.
hahas. hella funny la!
but it was really fun.. x))


and now.. i'm in this dreadful class.
which i will hafta suffer in for 3 long hours.
oh wells.


oh yeah.
for once i was ON TIME today . x))
i saw mark at the mrt station.
hahas. but he din see me. that cock eye.
might be meeting him after school for awhile.
think he's gonna come over to the business block.


anyways.
nothing much luhh.
low on energy...
but still striving...


let the heart take a break,
let the mind do the job.

yesterday...
cammie's wedding lunch.
the restaurant kinda screwed up.
seating plan was fucked.
so it was quite a mess.
at first, i was at sheraton hotel..
helping my cousin do her hair.
while my other cousin did her make up.
we were very late so yeah.
and when we got there. more shit.
hahahas. i was doing reception la.
but i was so stoned and blur.


anyways,
i was really the bridesMAID.
had to do this and that.
i was hella busy i swear
i couldnt even eat properly.
after two dishes,
rush off to help her change.
den after that, still got to take photos.
table to table. 30 tables.
hahahas. so hungry la...
but no choice.


oh yah.
damn annoying.
my mom, aunties and cousins!!!
uggh. hahas.
they kept matchmaking me with the bestman!
yeah. the groom's cousin.
but he's really suave.
and with brains. hahas.
yahh... everytime i stood next to my aunt,
she'll go on about him.
and everyone will follow the wind.
WAH LAOO EHH!


NEVERMIND..
at one of the groom's relatives' table..
one of his uncle's also did the same thing to us.
hahas. we turned to each other..
and gave each other that LOOK.
hahas. it's quite common i guess..
matchmaking the bridesmaid and bestman.
danngs. hahas. so funny la.
but quite irritating...


glenn's cousins, andrea and amanda,
were damn cool too! they are noisy pple as well!
hahahs. we really clicked quite well.
fun la.. oh yeah.. they're mostly new zealanders.
migrated there some time ago.
yeaps. x))


so that's that.
the day din end too well.
had difficulty sleeping.
but when i finally got to sleep.
wow... was sooo tired.
i simply slept thru the whole night.
till it was time to wake up.
so yupps.
that's ME for today


energy level: 4 to 5.


let it be..
if it's meant to be..

slept late last night.
woke up early this morning.
hahas. it was hella tiring.
same stuff...
help the bride..
and den i had to doll myself up.
do my hair, my make up and dress up.


den it was the church wedding.
ohh.. the best man was quite good looking.
and... SMART! hahas.
ex RI and RJ boy ;)
ok sheesh. i shouldnt be saying this.
he's 4 yrs my senior anyways.


after mass took loads and loads of photos.
but it was LOVELY! hahas.
shall upload when i get them.
might be some time from now...
but oh wells. it's really pretty.


after that went over to glenn's place.
me, cam, glenn and eu ming in the bridal car.
oh yeah. eu ming's the best man.
had the tea ceremony...
den had lunch reception at the condo function room.
den we left back for cammie's place.
waited quite awhile..
cos my mom and some others went for novena.
and they won't be back till three.
so i took a rest till they came.
den did the tea ceremony again.
yeaps.
den the aunties, cammie and i slacked in her room.
joked a lot and laughed our asses off.
i love to sit around and chat with my aunts.
makes your stomach ache!! hahahas.
your tummy just rolls.. heh.


anyhows.
i'm dead beat.
after that i had to go for assists meeting.
wanted to go for mass 1st.
but was late so i decided not to.
gonna go tmr morning 7am mass.
god bless my soul.
i've been so busy i swear.
anyways...
assist meeting at mindchamps office.
7pm... was on time.


meeting went ok.
i was just feeling very down and out.
yeah. but it was still manageable.
and surprisingly, celine popped in!
yeah. and brought the energy level up a bit.
well. she's like my role model.
anything about her.. i respect! x)
so.. i finally decided.. i'm gonna talk to her.
she's like the best person to talk to..
so after the meeting i had a session with her.
our chat lasted almost an hour and a half.
but it was great!
she lifted my energy level from a 1/2 to 7!
thanks celine! you're the greatest.


left after that...
wanted to go look for the rest..
but they left already.
so yeaps. i went home.
bought macs along the way...
and now i'm back home..
all lethargic and fatigued.


goodnights everyone.
i need rest.
i'm dead tired.

im stressed.
literally.
i throw the towel in.
*yawns.


school in the morning.
crs discussion after lessons.
script play after that...
went quite well.
we managed to inject some humour.
i think it'll go really well x)
had lunch with limin.
left for mindchamps office.
got there a bit early.
so went to walk around.
den had a meeting with peter.
for bout 40mins.
saw bernie..
he looked good. hahas.
coat and all...
but we din manage to talk.
just hi and byes.
den i left for home.


i'm famished and i'm enervated.
siggh.


mentally and emotionally quite unstable.
a lot of things running through my mind.
but as usual, i'll find my grip soon.
just going through a phase..
trying to juggle things in life.
and get things straightened out.
getting rid of unhappiness and dissatisfactions.
everyone wants to be happy.
so do i..


i'm ridding off the confusions in my mind.
slowly uncovering every stone...
only to find the real truth. x)


wish me luck.

CAUTION: LONG ENTRY.

school dis morning..
went to mt alvernia hospital.
baby's mom's discharged today.
went back to his place.
sat around for a bit.
den took an afternoon nap.
den it's home to complete the script.


when i left..
i was walking towards hougang mrt..
i took a good glance at the surroundings.
brought back many memories.
the times i used to hang out around the area after school..
how when i was in 1 integrity...
a bunch of 11 of us..
me, liying, sharmin, carolyn, sarah, kelly, adeline, carolina, rachel, audrey, meixian..
occasionally some others would join...
we'd go to hougang mall for lunch..
den we'd go to punggol cc to watch the montfort guys play basketball.
how we used to sit there, chit chat, giggle and watch them.
how fun...
den we'd play with them...
talk to them..
and i remember how we were all quite shy..
guess i was the only one open enough to talk to them.
hahahas. used to help them relay messages..
and then we frequently went to rivervale mall...
read a lot of chinese comics..
talked quite a bit in chinese..
yadayadayada.
but it was a whole load of fun.
never studied once. hahahas.
i still remember..
the back of the class.
all of us would gather there during free time.
and we'd talk so much!!
and it was great cos it was a big group.
and all those that only hung out with us occasionally,
they'd join us too!


and then the group broke up when we were streamed.
i went on to 2integrity...
while a lot of them dropped classes.
made a new circle of friends...
nevertheless...
we still gathered at the lockers before school..
but of cos.. this time it was on the second level.
felt great somehow. hahas. sec 2 already.
we'd still talk and catch up..
but only a few of us stuck together.
we met a group of st gabs guys still..
those of us who still stuck around..
hahas. we used to have a habit of meeting new guys.
explains why some of us went to mavis tuition centre.
hahahas. some went there for tuition,
some tagged along to look at guys..



after which jean came into the picture.
she came to school one day..
and she needed company that afternoon.
to go to bishan park secondary to watch a soccer match.
st gabs was up against some other school.
obviously, she was there to watch sebastian..
he was the captain of the C division team then.
from then onwards, jean and i became really close..
and we became best friends! x))


den i started hanging out with jean and all..
yeah.. and i started speaking a lot more english.
dumped that speaking chinese habit.
after all.. i was never good at that language.
hahahas. yeaps. and then started hanging out with jocelyn...
she was a ball of fun.
very humourous and totally WILD. x)
so that was when i started going to town A LOT.
85 straight to town...
amira slowly came into the picture.
and a few others here and there.
on some days,
we'd just go have lunch,
den go over to my place..
hahahas. so jean could go meet sebastian.
or watch him train on training days.
and we'd play netball under the block.
and... BREAK LIGHTS.
*winks at jean. hahahhas.
on other days, we'd have lunch at hougang mall,
den go hang out at jean's old place.
watch movies or just slack around.
it was fun...
we practically hung out EVERYDAY.
and it was reflected in my results.


this carried on till sec 3.
i dropped another class.
hahahas. now i was in 3 humility.
the class jean was in in sec 2.
but she dropped another class.
so she went to 3 grace.
anyhows.. we were still best friends.
started hanging out a lot with amira, jean and joce.
we got really close to the st gabs guys.
especially those in soccer.
shaun hedger came into the picture.
and then toad, brandon, mark and all..
slowly ernest and all came into the picture.
hahahas. i think it was then..
that i started knowing alot alot of guys.
without doubt,
sec 3 was like disaster.
all that trouble we got into,
all the uniform problems..
and yeah. me and jean getting kicked out of the probates.
hahahas. yeah. we were on our way to prefecthood.
but cos of our uniform problems..
we were kicked out. hahahas.
full of shit man.
anyways,
i hated doing duties...
having to come early and all that stuff.
oh wells.
and sec 3 was the period i started doing nonsense.
cutting my wrists and all.
and i realised how dumb i was.


sec 3 passed by.
my results started slipping...
and den sec 4 came.
started hanging out alot with jillian.
she already transferred to naval base of cos.
met up with her a lot of times in town.
it all started when i went onto irc again.
and den we started chatting a whole lot.
and den on friendster she realised i knew someone she knew.
who was her schoolmate's ex bf.
and yeah.. that was weiliang.
so i got to know gillian. hahas. his ex gf.
and with her i knew alicia and rachel..
and then with rachel i got to know yuchern and ian.
kept going to town after school without fail.
and then through gillian...
i got to know pearlynn and yuani.
from then on.. i hung out at cine like nobody's business.
went to look for them everyday without fail.
then i got to know kenny and the whole bunch of them.
and of cos.. i will never forget..
how jillian and i used to oogle at le en.
cos we found him really cute.
only thing was that he smoked.
and yeaps. we nicknamed him phototaking guy..
cos he loved taking photos of himself.
that all happend at ljs of cos.
our frequent hangout.
the other places we used to hang out at..
were cinecafe, rocky's, yoshi and outside cheers.
we simply wasting time there.. stoning.
sometimes we went shopping.
hahahas. it was fun though.


during that time...
i was with cheok..
but a lot of things happened.
after two months we broke up.
and i was rather depressed.
but oh wells. it's all in the package.


and so i started talking to kenny a lot online.
invited him for my birthday party and he came!
heh. it was whackass. and he was a lot of fun.
after that we got together just for fun..
but realised it din work out so we broke up.
sigh. it was so sudden..
cos i kinda got quite involved already.
and cos of that. i started cutting myself again.
stupidity.


anyways. time passed.
and then i got to know ben! x)
he was so sweet.
we met at bk compass pt.
he was with amir.. while i was with jillian.
from then onwards, i hung out with him a lot.
at the airport.. going to town..
and i was still at ALW attending classes.
so he'd come pick me up after lessons.
and once he got drunk in jb after going all the way there just to get me bubble gum..
how sweet. anyways, he still rushed back..
came to pick me up and den we headed to town..
watched a midnight movie..
and after that night.. we got together.
for the 1st two months or so things went perfectly well.
after which, the rollercoaster ride started.
was really scary i must say.


anyhows... i flunked my prelims cos of him..
din wanna study cos i wanted to go out with him..
though i said i went out to "study",
i actually never did! i couldnt concentrate!
hahahas. so yeahh. i did really badly i must say.
but after i got my prelim results, i woke up.
from a big big demoralising shock.
just one month before my exams..
i started studying.
and thanks to ALW, i managed to study well!
and efficiently of cos. all within a month!
yeaps. and it was a struggle for me really.
because during the one month, he wasnt there for me.
he drifted from me.
started hanging out with a bunch of newly found friends.
they got him into a lot of trouble.
and found him a new girl..
so they took him totally away from me.
realised that he cheated on me twice during that period.
it was torturous i must say.
cos i was taking my Os at the same time.
and he promised to be there after my papers to send me home.
and we already planned how the last day of my Os was gonna be.
i always hoped and wished that he would be at the bus stop.
but after every paper, i'd excitedly look out..
only to my dismay. he was NEVER there.
not even the last day.
but nevermind. that was the past.
it really hurt me real bad.
but i still went to meet him after that.
coloured my hair.
and best thing was.. halfway thru.. he left.
cos the other girl called him..
and threatened to come look for me.
i could only leave on my own then.
i still remember clearly i went to meet jaen after that in town.
oh wells. it was tough. but i've pulled through!


and then he went into boys' home.
i swear it was really really tough for me.
for the whole of december, i was on my own.
xmas on my own and all that.
den i started working for my dad..
and den he managed to come out of the home.
but was put under probation.
better than being put away, i thought.
things got better...
and then he started school...
things were still going really well..
only thing was that he got really protective.
understandable...
then was the release of my results...
i was over the moon.
11 pts! the greatest achievement in my life.
cos of that.. i got to go to the states!
to visit my relatives there.
anyways. i should stop here.
was supposed to just talk bout my secondary sch life.


anyways, i also wanna say...
how much i miss my UNIFORM!
omg. the ij uniform is the best uniform on earth.
i really missed it.
i remember the attention we used to capture..
especially when we walked in town.
even if we were the lousiest ij school..
it still made heads turn...
yeah.. i also remember..
we used to look at guys in branded sch uniforms.
schools like barker, acs i, sji, cat high, ri, so forth.
even schs like st gabs and montfort did make our heads turn.
those were the best days of my life...

*SMILES.

im dying in boring itab.
i seriously hate this module a lot.
but i have no choice..
have to make do..
cos yeah. it's a compulsory module.


anyhows.
i'm dead tired.
and i seriously feel damn empty.
totally moodless.
grrr....


been texting steph.
both of us just cant wait for EU.
yeah. and there'll be TWO dis march.
seriously cant wait for it.
it's like our escape..
i'm just so stressed.
and babes. it's not cos of you ok?
im not escaping from you.


*growls.
stats test later..
and i know nuts.
still struggling to finish studying.
MS Access sucks big time.
ugggh.
ANNOYING! (bimbo accent)


alright. i'm gonna go for now.
update again tonight.
gonna go to the hospital later.
visit baby's mummy.
she's going for surgery later..
please pray for her...


alright.
i should get going.
get my work done...
and study for my test.
*yawns.


red bull gives you wings!!!
i love red bull....

first of all...
i owe a humongous apology to..
my dear boyfriend.
i'm so sorry baby..
i ruined your birthday for you.


things didn't go too well yesterday.
but it's alright.
we've gotten over it.


to top it all off..
things at home aren't too good also.
din come home last night.
stayed over at baby's.
only got home just now. like 10?
siggh. things are rather screwed.


completed my mob report..
and now i've gotta get to studying.
stats test tomorrow.
and i know nuts! grrr.
i'm so so so screwed.
i'm really so stressed up.
i feel so alone. so empty.
very dissatisfied.
arghs.
screw it.


i pray tomorrow will be better.
goodnight.


happy belated birthday baby boy.
i love you loads. <33

i'm tired.
physically & mentally exhausted.
ended last night on a bad note.
totally had no mood to study.
so i'm back at home struggling to study.
pacc test later at 515.
gotta leave by 4...


met the grumpy old man just now.
he wasn't in the bestest of moods.
and yeah. he's simply exhuasted.
poor boy. i understand...
x) just try to cheer up k..
it's not the end of the world.
and a smile would make you feel better.
*huggs.


i'll update again later tonight.
gotta get back to studying.
and yeah. cant wait for tmr.
baby's birthday! wheeeeeee!
ciaos.

im in gems class right now.
presentation's over...
think we did OK. hahas.
but nevertheless, we're thru with it.
*WINKS.


the chair im sitting on..
is annoying the shit outta me.
cos it's so darn squeaky!
urggggh.


i was late today.
daddy sent me to school.
hahas. thank god. =)
but i think he's not too happy.
bleahs. xP sorry daddy.
really needed to get to sch quickly.


im not feeling too good.
stomach's rather crummy.
yikes! =/
gotta get something to eat..
before the next lecture.
blarghhhs.


*yawns.
i'm so tired.
only had 3 hours of sleep.
siggh.
hope i dun get headaches.
boooo...

talk about the rain.
does it ever stop?
rather.. will it EVER stop?
i got friggin drenched on the way home.
yeah. WITH an umbrella in hand.
sucky... TOTALLY.


i was feeereeeezing in the cab.
it was super uberly cold.
gegegegeggerrrr...
brrrr...


rushing thru gems project right now.
wasnt feeling that well today.
throbbing headache. uggh.


anyhows.
i'll be back in school tmr.
3 more days to babe's birthday.
i should get back to my work.


termperamental.
that should describe me best.
i ought to learn to change.
sheeeeesh.

i owe this to kris i suppose?
oh what the heck.
i'm bored anyhows.

1) i wear many different masks.
(i.e. i'm different around different pple)
2) i have many different cliques of friends.
(but i only have one bestfriend = jean)
3) i live in a swamp
(that's how messy my room is... my dad nicknamed my room. THANKS.)
4) i am NOT rich.
(though i live in a private estate)
5) i have a chocolate addiction!

why's it only 5?? danngs. i wanna write more.
who the hell cares. here goes.

6) my boyfriend is of utmost importance to me.
(and he's none other than... benni.)
7) i dislike SP quite a bit.
(i should have gone to ngee ann)
8) i've started reading chinese comics.
(though i kinda suck at the language)
9) i'm a sailor.. i love the sea.
(not everyone gets to go far out)
10) i'm into business.. but i kinda like designing.
(i'm rather versatile i should say?)


i think i'm getting boring.
shall put a halt to it.
continue some other time.
i've gotta go to the polyclinic.
and off i go to cut my hair.
all for my cuzzie's wedding.
weeeeeeeeeet.
prolly ask my mom to colour my hair soon.


ciaos fer now.

cant think of a better title.
i'm suffering in pain.
yeah. bad tummy ache.
just got out of the loo...
grrrr...
must be the excessive intake of veggies.


im waiting for my baby's call...
apparantly he's still not done yet.
bahhs.


slept in for a bit today.
went over to limin's for MOB project.
stayed there till... 4+?
went back by bus.
got hooked on a comic..
so i went to get it at serangoon central.
there's this lil comic shop...
ended up spending 6bucks for membership.
and another 3 bucks for the rental.
a dollar a comic book that is..
hahas. and i mean CHINESE comics.
yeah. you must be wondering..
what the hell is mary ann doing?
reading chinese comics?
i swear it's addictive.
i can't read as fast as others..
cos my chinese is, after all,
quite retarded.
but hey! i got a b3 ok?
that means i aint THAT bad.


came home after.
been reading ever since.
finished the 1st book..
almost finishing the 2nd.
din expect to finish them so fast.
cooked my own dinner.
udon with veggies again.
hahas. mom din cook.
dad went out. so no dinner..
bros are out too btw.


i'm seriously dead bored.
i'm still waiting for his call..
and then it's ciaos.

ps: did i mention i crave cadbury fruit&nut?
i've a chocolate addiction. <-clinically proven.

my bridesmaid gown.
for camellia's wedding.
21st january 2006.

designer: daniel yam.
price: 145 bucks.

it's been raining non-stop.
yeah. dreary mood.
makes it all so depressing.
anyhows. i was so pissed.
i swear...


1) my brother used my com w/o my permission
2) he finished up all my ferrero rochers.


how annoying is that?
and the rochers were from dede.
grrr... fuckin bastard.
thank god i still have my fruit&nut.
or else i wun be able to survive the night.


updates...

YESTERDAY
.church on the morn at svdp
.blessing for andrew = joining the franciscan friars.
.brunch with 'rents.
.home for a nap
.packed and left for mp
.no company today. left right after.
.went over to cuzzie's.
.she din wake up on time.
.she just woke up when i called her.
.hung around till 6.
.left for city hall.
.walked around raffles city for abit.
.went to precious thots to buy her ring cushion.
.ended up buying her guestbook too.
.and i bought some stuffs too.
.went to subway for dinner.
.walked to suntec.
.went to daniel yam...
.anddd... i bought my bridesmaid gown! yay!
it's b-e-a-u-tiful!!!
rather cheap. 145bucks. x))
will upload the pic.

sadly.. the day din end off on a nice note...

TODAY
.school... was late.
.access quiz. 62% hahas. fucked up.
.scrambled to finish studying for econs.
.econs test: a flop!
.went to get some stuff after sch.
.that was at compass pt.
.came home and cooked dinner.
.udon with veggies. (jap style)
.went over to baby's.
.he looked SOOOO dead beat.
(poor fella... his eyes were rather swollen)
.came home shortly after.
.here i am!! x))


my boring monotonous life.
immerse yourself... hahas.
will try to spice up my life...

i think i'm changing.
in terms of mentality...
think i'm growing up..
can't exactly stand the hustle and bustle...
can't stand the childishness..
i don't know.
i just get irritated.
maybe it's plain PMS.
rarrr!


slept in today.
woke up, cooked veggies.
looooove it hahahahas.
i swear it's nice!
den went to bathe.
and went to town to meet ben.
he was with zayd at mc cafe lido.
sat for a bit..
den went to far east.
i went to have my chicken rice.
den walked around for awhile...


den we went to wisma..
walked around for some bits.
den they went to smoke.
after that we all left.
cos we had nothing else to do..
ohh. but zayd left 1st..
cos i wanted to go popular and buy stuff.
den went back to baby's place.
his mom's still the same i guess?
really admire her.. she's real strong...
very independent too of course.


slept there in the end.
hahahas. afternoon nap.
woke up at bout 7pm..
den went home..
cos i forgot to take something.
den had dinner and left.
went for mp. yeaps.
nat was on duty today.
so i had company x))
pasted the stickers on the books,
tested her on the grid..
den went to buy food..
i went to ntuc instead.
hahas. and den we were late.
oh wells.


stayed on after the mp..
talked to several people.
heh. i love PR. =)


den went back to baby's.
cos he wanted to spend time wimme.
after awhile i left and came home.
he had to sleep.
cos he's working tomorrow.
so here i am..
*YAWNS.
i know i know. my life sucks.
it's boring and shitty.
nothing much happening i guess..
other than my unbearable moodswings.
hahahahas. yea. you'll get used to it.
*winks.


tatas. i'm bored blogging.
cos my life's boring. =/
can't seem to get into the excited mood.
or rather.. it wears off real fast.

im slacking at cine right now..
with amir..
hahahs. waiting for ben to finish work.
heh. came here right after sch.

dam
n!
i overslept again today.
seriously.. i wanted to go to sch.
grrr. i hate this.
im getting outta hand.
blarghs.


anyhows.
i'm bored out right now.
and i'm freezing to death.
but seriously,
i think i'm falling in love..
yes.. you heard me right..
with e2max! MUAHAHAHAHS.
yes. LAUGH please..


ok. i'm bullshitting.
but this place is lovely..
they play good music,
the computers are good.
the screen is fuckin 21inch.
the seats are good.. (comfortable).
it's just WONDERFUL! hahas.
i'd love to come here more often..
if it wasnt so expensive.
=// danngs.


lalalala...
we din stay back for mob project today.
cos limin din bring her article.
hmmm...
i've gotta start studying for econs...
test on monday..
not going for training tmr..
gonna follow ben for his acs gathering.
yeaps. at sentosa. x)) wheee..
tanning i suppose. *winks.
sadly.. i think i'm too fat. grrr..
hate it...


diet diet diet!
YES YES YEs.
sheeesh. you can detect the boredom.
i shall stop here for now.
my fingers are freezing.
think i should give it a break.
muahahahas.
tas fer now.


have you ever seen a rainbow?
cos the feeling you get when you see one,
is exactly how you make me feel right now.

i've gotta start controlling my moodswings.
think it's getting outta hand.
well.. sorry to all those i've been moody to.
especially my baby boy.. yeah.
but please. try not to step on my toes,
or even better, get on my back.
cos i'll fuckin rip your face off...
like you've never seen before. x)


i was so exhausted,
i couldn't wake up this morning.
i really wanted to go for classes...
really.. i swear...
but my eyes just couldnt open.
REALLY!!!


anyhows....
i was so pissed today.
wun say why...
so i only went for the 2 lectures.
and skipped crs.
whatever...
so i went to meet baby in town. ;)
still quite angry..
but cooled down after awhile.
we went to watch WALLACE & GROMIT.
so nice... hahahas. cute laaa...


den got a msg from ben's mom.
she was going to the hospital.
cos she had a bad fall...
so after the show we went to find her..
oh. forgot to mention dan and zayd were with us.
but only dan came to the hospital with us.
after that went back to ben's place.
i had to leave earlier...
cos there was gonna be a house blessing at grandma's.
so rushed to amk.. but when i got there..
to my dismay.. it was already over.
failed to receive my mom's text msg
bout the change in timing...
DANNNGS.


anyhows. stayed on for awhile.
had little chats with my aunties and uncle.
so funny. hahahas. love being around them.
so jovial, happy and humorous!
cracks the shit outta you.
and den we had fun with the blood pressure monitor.
hahahahahas. so fun la...


so that's my day.
ups and downs.
if you realised.
the moodswings were really bad.
I SWEAR BY THAT.
*winks.


time to hit the sack.
nightnights. ;)


I’m sorry for the tears I’ve made you cry
I never ever meant to be this way...

im so dead tired.
i swear...
sleep deprived.


anyhows..
ideas presentation went really well!
yeaps! congrats team mates. x)
lecturers were rather satisfied.
so yeah. you could see the smiles.
it was really glowing.
haha.
i'm glad it's over.


left with gems and MOB...
and then it's test time!
ugggh. so annoying =//


anyhows.
nothing much happening as yet i guess.
lalalala.


sorry baby.
i know i was an ass today.
sorrrrrrry. =((
sometimes i hate myself for being spoilt.
blargghs.


i'm going to bed.
hahas. yes. i am.
cos my grp's decided..
we're not gonna present gems tmr.
weeeee. yeah. mutual agreement.
now... bed time! x)


expect surprises...
more smiles to be seen.

OH MY GAWD...
i cant believe my eyes.
i am SO SO SO SO SO FAT!
yes. dis is a fat rant entry.


look at my face!!!
i have double chin!!
look at my cheeks....
they're so so so fat!


look at my arms.
eeeew...
it's like two arms combined into one.
look at my tummy!!!
gawd. i look pregnant.
with a lot of extra flesh.
look at my body...
i've fats ooozing out EVERYWHERE..
look at my LEGS.
gawd. they're HUMONGOUS.


i ought to go on a diet.
i think i'm going to cold storage later.
get all the veggies..
i'm going on a diet!
i'm so freaking fat!
overdose on food and chocolates
during the xmas break. =/
danngs. i look so fat and ugly.
*GROWLS.


anyways, i'm so darn tired.
only had one and a half hours of sleep.
was rushing to complete my project.
and guess what?
yes.. the most annoying news..
i'm only supposed to hand it in tmr.
like wtf? i stayed up till 530 to do it!
uggggh. at least im done with it..
cos i've another project to rush tonight.
and i've gotta go out soon to get stuff..
arghs. i hope i don't fall sick.


school today was alright.
i was just dead tired i swear.
no mood for anything.
but gawd.. i think i eat too much.
sheeeeeeesh.
rather happy to see my classmates.
i slept thru pacc though. hahas.
and my tutor called me the "smart" one.
i'm startiing to love mob..
cos it's so easy to learn! hahas.
ok. i'm talking nuts.
i need red bull...


RED BULL GIVES YOU WINGS.
i'll blog again.
my brain's going cranky...

it's a bit too late...
but i'm still gonna do it.

2005...

the 1st quarter of the year was spent dwelling around doing absolutely nothing? right. the 1st month was spent at shell sengkang working for my dad. hell was it tough and i just couldnt stand the smell of petrol so i told him i wanted to quit. nevertheless, i met new friends at the station and it was cool. x) along with this, baby got out of boys' home. thank god... after one month of waiting.. it really was a relief he din have to go back in. he started school.. things went rather smoothly... went to bangkok with my aunt and cousin. had to keep it low profile from my grandmother cos she hates my aunt like poison. oh wells... shopped till i dropped. but it was fun! x)


soon.. the release of the O level results. yeah. it was nerve wrecking. i was so darn nervous. the day before the release, my mom asked me how i think i was gonna do and i plainly said, "die already la..." her heart prolly skipped a few beats. but oh wells. i still went. i can still remember clearly how that day went and i'll prolly NEVER forget. joce came to my place to borrow uniform(the last time we were gonna wear it) and also to hitch a ride to school. so yeaps. my dad sent us to school. we were already late. that was our idea. to go late, get our results and go. spare us the wait and the nervousness. my dad wanted to play a fool with us.. so as we neared school, he slowed down to 40km/h. hell yeah. i was so scared.

so when we finally got school, i told him parents to just go off to spare them the embarrassment. so they respected me and they left. i'd call them once i got my results. so joce and i ran up to the hall.. mrs poi was at the door when we got there and she rushed us in... mrs chan(my principal) was announcing some names. so we found and class and sat down. but just as i was about to sit down, mrs chan announce MY NAME. WOOOOAH.. wad's going on?? so i continued standing up. i turned to mabel and asked her wad exactly was going on.. and she said, "mary ann! you've got 5 distinctions!". and i said, "huh...? are you sure?" i was filled with disbelief. firstly, i got 28pts for my prelims. secondly, there's another marianne in the class. blarghs. but i clearly heard mary ann lee. so oh wells. i just continued standing. i text my parents to tell them bout what i got. they were in shock too. my dad started calculating my max score... which will be 13 cos chinese wouldnt have been one of my distinction subjects since i got b3. they rushed back to my school... my register number was 21 so i had to wait for half the class to get their results before i got mine. and even when it got to my results, my teacher wanted to test how nervous i was. she went, "here are all the information in you need to know.." and there i was hoping she'd just give me my results 1st. i could read all of that later... and so finally she said, "there you go. you've got 11 pts."

i was SHOCKED. i couldnt believe my ears&eyes. but yet i was elated. so so so happy. my parents finally came and they were so happy too. i hadnt seen that happiness in them for so long. my mom was so proud of me. it was evident in her eyes. when i got my PSLE results, they werent happy at all... (fyi: i got 234) i was just so filled with joy... den my mom went to talk to ms charles. (her ex classmate). she said that no one could ever imagine me getting As and ace-ing every one of my subjects. then mrs thiru came by and asked ms charles how i did... and ms charles said, " look! she aced it all. A2 for bio, A2 for science, A1 for maths, A1 for english. she can go anywhere she wants..." ahahhas. you have no idea how happy i was. i proved them wrong and i achieved my goals. all that effort i put into studying paid off! and also.. to alw.. now known as mindchamps. it was a total wonderful experience.


ok.. this is getting awfully long. im gonna speed it up.


for my great results, my dad agreed to let me go to the states to visit my cousins, aunties and uncles! x)) yayy!! i havent been there in 10 years. so my dad bought my ticket and i made my way there. my dad's friend's daughter was supposed to go with me but cos her mom din trust her going there by herself, i ended up having to go there on myself. x) but it was an experience... my whole family including my grandma went to send me off! hahas. so sweeeet. and my grandma even prepared food for me... worried i'd get hungry or something.


valerie my cousin picked me up from the airport. and then my journey started. all that fun and stuff... oh how much i missed that place.. visited several colleges. CAL state - san jose, stanford, UC berkeley and UC davis. how cool eh? i miss my apple cidar and bagel breakfast. i had to be very thankful to my cousin. so took time off work and school just to accompany me around. gave up her bed to me.. and well.. woke up early to buy me breakfast and stuff... aww. i love her to bits!! she took me to all the cool places and drove me around to wherever i wanted to go!

and den it's over to my uncle's at palo alto. that's where stanford is.. he took me around to cool places.. made me think of where i wanted to go... and even though he had a back problem.. he still drove me around for hours! yeah. aint he sweet? he's just really nice... and he's really chatty.. so you wun be able to fall asleep. that.. i'm serious!. hahas.

after that it's over to my aunt's in sacramento. she too took time off to take me around. and she cooks wonderful meals! gawd. you must see how much wait i've put on when i returned from my trip. a whole lot! she's just a wonderful cook. prolly runs in the family *winks. and because of me.. she had hungry jacks with me! how cool is that? hahas. she took me shopping... gave me money and bought stuff for me, my bros and my mom. blahblahblah...

ok.. cut short time.
den it was time to leave.. sigh... so sad... wish i could stay there forever!!!

so i made my way back. forgot to charge my player... so yeah. on my flight to tokyo, i had nothing to do.. so i just lasted on whatever battery i had and den slept. and when i got to tokyo, i found a power outlet and charged it! yayyness! hahas. the transit time was shorter.. only 2 hrs.. so i hopped on the plane and it was back to singapore.. home sweet home.


time passed and i started school in Singapore Polytechnic. yeah... diploma in business administration. orientation was boring. but i met a couple of cool people. only went for the 1st day i think? hahas. and then it was the 2nd downfall again... ben left me for his ex... i was so stranded. i was so upset i had no mood to do absolutely nothing. and den a week later he came back to me... he left for saudi a few days after.. and i spent my birthday without him.. only with friends.. but my birthday was still fun! right guys? yeah. we got wasted and danced the night away...


den my aunt and cousins came back to visit from the states! yeahh. ahhaas. had a wail of time. but i had to apologise for my lack of responsibility. i shyed away from all the things i've promised. siggh. i feel so bad. im really sorry. we made a trip to bangkok again! hahas. this time it was really really fun. all that shopping, eating and joking. it was great! x)) loved it so much. and we even made a friend! hahas. it's actually my cousin abel's friend. we bought so much that we had to pay excess baggage. hahas. so much for cheap stuff...


school was ok... workload started increasing. results were ok.. and den it started slipping.. i started cutting school more. but all was still fine. and den... exams. turned out pretty ok.. but i could have done better. so that was the end of sem 1. holidays.. was a blast. i spent my time wisely.. with friends. and den i broke up with ben. for awhile.. because he was with someone else but refued to admit it. i was happy there and then. until the last week.. i started to feel it.. but nevertheless, i tried to block it out. and then we got back together... things werent too great at 1st.. and then a series of events happened. i started to ignore him.. just wanted time alone... and i guess that was the pt in time i started to change.. my mentality bout relationships and stuff... and i suppose that was also the time he started to wake up.. and then came mindchamps grand opening. started talking to bernie again. oh yeah. we had a tiff.. so we lost contact for awhile.. yupps. but all was good. cleared the air.

and den came EU! woah. that was the highest pt! i swear it was. was on a total high after which. reflected on my life and kinda got things sorted out. i was gonna do certain things and i was gonna make sure i achieved it! ignored ben for 4 days. and i suppose that got him really thinking hard. and after the 4 days, i got back to him.. and things went really smoothly thereafter. i think the only problem now is me.. i get really petty around him and get angry very easily.. blowing up over little things and having very little patience. ok. i sound like a spoilt brat. but somehow i think i really am one. hahas =x sheesh. it's really hard to change back to how i was.. i don't know.. and then i kinda lost some feelings for him.. but i know i still have quite a bit for him. but i promise to be working on it..


so came xmas.. was totally broke. but i still managed to have some fun. was rather sad... no tree at home.. and everyone just wasnt really in the xmas spirit.. but it went quite ok. though it could have been better. spent it with the church peeps. and nothing beats time well spent with good friends. dis time was good cos ben spent it with me. we also managed to spend nye together! and that was like our anniversary. how cool.


something else i have to add.. 2005 came to a great end.. with my brothers getting closer to me. i can just feel the love.. x)

2005 definitely had its ups and downs.. but it was all good for me. hoping for a better 2006!!! x)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE.
hope you guys had a BLAST!


im tired.
but i'll fill you in.

1. bbq at kris'
2. played cards.
3. had a wail of a time
4. drank and gambled
5. den played mahjong
6. i won the most. haha.
7. countdown.
8. left for 7/11s
9. supposed to come over to my place
10. but we went our separate ways.
11. babes and dan came to my place.
12. the end. hahas.

nothing really EXCITING.
but i still had fun!
right guys?
small gatherings are good.
no one needs a crowd.
nothing beats time spent with gd friends.


i'm getting ready for school.
prepping myself up.
hahas. if you knew what state i was in,
you'd understand.


completing all my projects..
checking all the stuff i need..
all those usual stuff.


well..
i miss a couple of friends.
ought to see you guys soon!
you're always remembered.


to my baby boy:
happy anniversary!
hope we have many more years to come.
i love you very very much.
it was great to spend both xmas and nye with you.
something we couldnt have done last year.
but we've made up for it.
so it's all cool now. x)
you're always in my heart...
wherever i go...


to my parents:
sorry for being so disobedient..
for splurging money like no one's business.
while you're working your asses off,
and scrimping like crazy...
HAPPY 22nd wedding anniversary!
may you continue to be loving..
towards each other for eternity.


as for 2oo6.
yeah. resolutions.

1. lose weight
2. attend classes
3. study harder
4. get more serious with work
5. be more hardworking
6. fulfill my commitments
7. stop lying
8. mainly, be a better person.
9. SAVE MONEY!
10. be a great assist for EUs
11. save enough for a trip to sydney to visit the EUs there.
12. be more spiritually inclined.
13. work on my attitude. (moodswings)
14. when i think of more.. i'll re-edit.
    

forgive me for my wrongs.
i'll try to be a better person.

cheers to a good 'o6!