it's a bit too late...
but i'm still gonna do it.

2005...

the 1st quarter of the year was spent dwelling around doing absolutely nothing? right. the 1st month was spent at shell sengkang working for my dad. hell was it tough and i just couldnt stand the smell of petrol so i told him i wanted to quit. nevertheless, i met new friends at the station and it was cool. x) along with this, baby got out of boys' home. thank god... after one month of waiting.. it really was a relief he din have to go back in. he started school.. things went rather smoothly... went to bangkok with my aunt and cousin. had to keep it low profile from my grandmother cos she hates my aunt like poison. oh wells... shopped till i dropped. but it was fun! x)


soon.. the release of the O level results. yeah. it was nerve wrecking. i was so darn nervous. the day before the release, my mom asked me how i think i was gonna do and i plainly said, "die already la..." her heart prolly skipped a few beats. but oh wells. i still went. i can still remember clearly how that day went and i'll prolly NEVER forget. joce came to my place to borrow uniform(the last time we were gonna wear it) and also to hitch a ride to school. so yeaps. my dad sent us to school. we were already late. that was our idea. to go late, get our results and go. spare us the wait and the nervousness. my dad wanted to play a fool with us.. so as we neared school, he slowed down to 40km/h. hell yeah. i was so scared.

so when we finally got school, i told him parents to just go off to spare them the embarrassment. so they respected me and they left. i'd call them once i got my results. so joce and i ran up to the hall.. mrs poi was at the door when we got there and she rushed us in... mrs chan(my principal) was announcing some names. so we found and class and sat down. but just as i was about to sit down, mrs chan announce MY NAME. WOOOOAH.. wad's going on?? so i continued standing up. i turned to mabel and asked her wad exactly was going on.. and she said, "mary ann! you've got 5 distinctions!". and i said, "huh...? are you sure?" i was filled with disbelief. firstly, i got 28pts for my prelims. secondly, there's another marianne in the class. blarghs. but i clearly heard mary ann lee. so oh wells. i just continued standing. i text my parents to tell them bout what i got. they were in shock too. my dad started calculating my max score... which will be 13 cos chinese wouldnt have been one of my distinction subjects since i got b3. they rushed back to my school... my register number was 21 so i had to wait for half the class to get their results before i got mine. and even when it got to my results, my teacher wanted to test how nervous i was. she went, "here are all the information in you need to know.." and there i was hoping she'd just give me my results 1st. i could read all of that later... and so finally she said, "there you go. you've got 11 pts."

i was SHOCKED. i couldnt believe my ears&eyes. but yet i was elated. so so so happy. my parents finally came and they were so happy too. i hadnt seen that happiness in them for so long. my mom was so proud of me. it was evident in her eyes. when i got my PSLE results, they werent happy at all... (fyi: i got 234) i was just so filled with joy... den my mom went to talk to ms charles. (her ex classmate). she said that no one could ever imagine me getting As and ace-ing every one of my subjects. then mrs thiru came by and asked ms charles how i did... and ms charles said, " look! she aced it all. A2 for bio, A2 for science, A1 for maths, A1 for english. she can go anywhere she wants..." ahahhas. you have no idea how happy i was. i proved them wrong and i achieved my goals. all that effort i put into studying paid off! and also.. to alw.. now known as mindchamps. it was a total wonderful experience.


ok.. this is getting awfully long. im gonna speed it up.


for my great results, my dad agreed to let me go to the states to visit my cousins, aunties and uncles! x)) yayy!! i havent been there in 10 years. so my dad bought my ticket and i made my way there. my dad's friend's daughter was supposed to go with me but cos her mom din trust her going there by herself, i ended up having to go there on myself. x) but it was an experience... my whole family including my grandma went to send me off! hahas. so sweeeet. and my grandma even prepared food for me... worried i'd get hungry or something.


valerie my cousin picked me up from the airport. and then my journey started. all that fun and stuff... oh how much i missed that place.. visited several colleges. CAL state - san jose, stanford, UC berkeley and UC davis. how cool eh? i miss my apple cidar and bagel breakfast. i had to be very thankful to my cousin. so took time off work and school just to accompany me around. gave up her bed to me.. and well.. woke up early to buy me breakfast and stuff... aww. i love her to bits!! she took me to all the cool places and drove me around to wherever i wanted to go!

and den it's over to my uncle's at palo alto. that's where stanford is.. he took me around to cool places.. made me think of where i wanted to go... and even though he had a back problem.. he still drove me around for hours! yeah. aint he sweet? he's just really nice... and he's really chatty.. so you wun be able to fall asleep. that.. i'm serious!. hahas.

after that it's over to my aunt's in sacramento. she too took time off to take me around. and she cooks wonderful meals! gawd. you must see how much wait i've put on when i returned from my trip. a whole lot! she's just a wonderful cook. prolly runs in the family *winks. and because of me.. she had hungry jacks with me! how cool is that? hahas. she took me shopping... gave me money and bought stuff for me, my bros and my mom. blahblahblah...

ok.. cut short time.
den it was time to leave.. sigh... so sad... wish i could stay there forever!!!

so i made my way back. forgot to charge my player... so yeah. on my flight to tokyo, i had nothing to do.. so i just lasted on whatever battery i had and den slept. and when i got to tokyo, i found a power outlet and charged it! yayyness! hahas. the transit time was shorter.. only 2 hrs.. so i hopped on the plane and it was back to singapore.. home sweet home.


time passed and i started school in Singapore Polytechnic. yeah... diploma in business administration. orientation was boring. but i met a couple of cool people. only went for the 1st day i think? hahas. and then it was the 2nd downfall again... ben left me for his ex... i was so stranded. i was so upset i had no mood to do absolutely nothing. and den a week later he came back to me... he left for saudi a few days after.. and i spent my birthday without him.. only with friends.. but my birthday was still fun! right guys? yeah. we got wasted and danced the night away...


den my aunt and cousins came back to visit from the states! yeahh. ahhaas. had a wail of time. but i had to apologise for my lack of responsibility. i shyed away from all the things i've promised. siggh. i feel so bad. im really sorry. we made a trip to bangkok again! hahas. this time it was really really fun. all that shopping, eating and joking. it was great! x)) loved it so much. and we even made a friend! hahas. it's actually my cousin abel's friend. we bought so much that we had to pay excess baggage. hahas. so much for cheap stuff...


school was ok... workload started increasing. results were ok.. and den it started slipping.. i started cutting school more. but all was still fine. and den... exams. turned out pretty ok.. but i could have done better. so that was the end of sem 1. holidays.. was a blast. i spent my time wisely.. with friends. and den i broke up with ben. for awhile.. because he was with someone else but refued to admit it. i was happy there and then. until the last week.. i started to feel it.. but nevertheless, i tried to block it out. and then we got back together... things werent too great at 1st.. and then a series of events happened. i started to ignore him.. just wanted time alone... and i guess that was the pt in time i started to change.. my mentality bout relationships and stuff... and i suppose that was also the time he started to wake up.. and then came mindchamps grand opening. started talking to bernie again. oh yeah. we had a tiff.. so we lost contact for awhile.. yupps. but all was good. cleared the air.

and den came EU! woah. that was the highest pt! i swear it was. was on a total high after which. reflected on my life and kinda got things sorted out. i was gonna do certain things and i was gonna make sure i achieved it! ignored ben for 4 days. and i suppose that got him really thinking hard. and after the 4 days, i got back to him.. and things went really smoothly thereafter. i think the only problem now is me.. i get really petty around him and get angry very easily.. blowing up over little things and having very little patience. ok. i sound like a spoilt brat. but somehow i think i really am one. hahas =x sheesh. it's really hard to change back to how i was.. i don't know.. and then i kinda lost some feelings for him.. but i know i still have quite a bit for him. but i promise to be working on it..


so came xmas.. was totally broke. but i still managed to have some fun. was rather sad... no tree at home.. and everyone just wasnt really in the xmas spirit.. but it went quite ok. though it could have been better. spent it with the church peeps. and nothing beats time well spent with good friends. dis time was good cos ben spent it with me. we also managed to spend nye together! and that was like our anniversary. how cool.


something else i have to add.. 2005 came to a great end.. with my brothers getting closer to me. i can just feel the love.. x)

2005 definitely had its ups and downs.. but it was all good for me. hoping for a better 2006!!! x)