Friday, April 21, 2006
i feel so raw right now. it's like i've an open wound that's yet to heal. sigh. yes it hurts so bad. and it may never heal in fact... because it's a problem that may never be resolved. there's nothing much i can do really. just hope and pray for the best.
i just wish they know we i feel and how my brothers feel. siggh. and really, if this gets out of hand, i would wanna leave this place. too much pain to bear. but i will not abandon my pursuit for my dreams. it's something i've always wanted. and since what i treasured most may soon be gone, that's just something that may satisfy me best. something that can temporarily remove that pain. arghs. enough of this shit. i don't wanna start crying again.
i've gotta kick the habit of skipping classes really. and i ought to sleep early. it's weird how tired i get. but i'm so alive at night. yeah. night monster i am... but i've gotta learn to sleep early. i need that rest. didn't feel well this morning. but now i'm better after some rest. gonna go to school soon. just feeling horrible. out of that door... there's hatred, pain and coldness. i'm scared to walk out that door. what lies behind? it's now so unpredictable. i don't wanna hear hurting words that will just worsen my current state. siggh.
thanks to those who were there for me, trying to cheer me up, giving me advice and just to be a listening ear. i really appreciate it and i love you guys so much. ;)
what's next? i don't know. tell me...
i need love.
