Friday, July 07, 2006
anger gets a hold on me... i'm so easily irritable these days... it's about time i did something about it. what is it that's bothering me? why is it that i can't be as carefree as before? i'm been neglecting my work and just can't seem to find the motivation to do anything relating to school... other than stuff that's for my sailing club. siggh.
there's like a devil and angel entwined inside me. at times i just wanna do well... i wanna prove to others that i'm not that bad after all.. but then the devil intervenes and holds me back. well i think THAT's annoying me. what happened to that overflowing motivation i once had? why is it that my endurance level have dipped? why is it that i can't seem to find that inspiration and motivation to go about doing things i said i'd do. arghhs. what's happening to me?
oh wells... i guess at times people just fall... though i feel like i've fallen into an abyss... falling and falling and never being able to arise... rarr...
anyways, yesterday with jean was great. she always perks me up. she's my babe. thanks babe. i always enjoy the times i share with you. it's amazing how we can not talk for so long, but have millions of things to talk about and share with each other everytime we meet up. and we never feel uncomfortable around each other however much we may change. i guess that's what bestfriends are eh? ;) thanks for always being there for me whenever i needed someone to talk to. all the memories we shared... it's unforgettable. too memorable...
and baby.. i'm sorry i was vulgar towards you... i didn't mean it. it just came out.. and i was angry... yea. it was still my fault for certain things and i apologise yeah? *huggs. i love you... sorry i din even bother to ask how you were when you slipped and fell down the stairs. i guess i was too engulfed in my own anger that i simply didn't wanna bother. i do care ok? i hope you're alright now.
blogging to me these days seem like such a chore. probably because i can't find enough time to blog and i'm lazy. yes.. lazy.. that's what i am. i am TOO lazy in fact. i need to get rid of that laziness. the worm in me is growing too fat and big. to a point that i eat too much and i've grown fatter and i'm SOOOO lazy to do everything. uggh. i hate myself... *groans.
what a phase in life. i hate it. =(
