Thursday, October 19, 2006
i'd disagree to the title.
i think i'm disturbed.
by what?
probably everything.
i've jumped start my self reflections...
something i haven't been able to get down to.
what has become of me?
i reckon i've taken things way too lightly.
i assume i'm on track.
but in actual fact, i'm detouring.
goals.
i've yet to set them on paper.
but i roughly know what i want.
have i been putting in effort to achieve them?
hell no!
why?
i don't know.
acceptance.
everyone yearns for that.
and god dammnit, i do too.
we bitch a hell lot.
but we scream a lot more..
for what?
for love, for acceptance.
jean spoke about karma a while ago.
it appears so real...
speak of it today
and guess what?
tomorrow or in days to come,
you're what you spoke of that person.
it's freaky, it's scary...
and yes, watch your DAMNED mouth.
and so i've put on a couple of pounds.
FAT is how you'd describe me.
i've come to terms with that label.
but what the heck.
that SHOULD NOT give you entitlement,
to mock me and criticize me.
if you should, keep it under wraps.
PLEASE don't let me hear it.
PMS.
that's probably something i'm going through.
but FUCK YOU.
don't make me feel more irritated
than i already am.
if you can't help me feel better,
PLEASE STAY AWAY.
cos i'll HATE you.
let's just say,
i've got lots of ANGST built up inside.
and thanks to who?
ALL OF YOU.
HA.
on a lighter note.
i guess i can't give a fuck to those who don't like me.
cos i don't like you too.
so stop acting "god damned smart"
and giving me that "you don't know what's going on"
attitude and look with me.
cos i'll spit in your face,
and make you listen to me.
DRATS.
some people have been spoilt rotten.
i won't mention who.
but it's YOU. yes YOU.
someone who got rather CLOSE to me.
you're SPOILT.
stop seeking the fuckin attention.
cos you're not the only one who wants it.
stop stealing the limelight of others'
if you still want them as your friends.
(i just can't stand how you kick up a big fuss,
and everyone goes running to you,
and you behave like a fuckin princess)
so i got into a fit of anger.
i should stop.
back to my reflections.
oh yes i've become rather unwelcomed by SOME people.
but i think i have better things in life to look forward to.
;) and there'll be a million things i can be happy for.
a smile should keep the unhappiness away.
and RAPPORT...
something i've yet to develop with the people around me.
i should get down to it.
especially when i'm in business.
if i wanna perform,
it's about time i learnt to work with people.
i'm bored shit.
and i don't wanna think more.
gonna end here for now.
i'm starting to hate attention seekers.
FULLSTOP.
