Thursday, April 26, 2007
i feel pinched.
wits end?
not sure.
i'm in the bizit library right now.
was supposed to see mr kwok.
but decided not to.
for an hour's break..
and the considerable walk.
nahhs.
i've got a discussion here later on.
so i'd rather prepare more for it.
i'm getting a wee bit more focused on work.
but my mind's caught up somewhere else.
i lug a heavy heart around.
but i have to remain strong.
sigh.
FO camp...
how would it turn out?
we're sleeping in tents?
a total different experience altogether.
blarggghs.
i just wanna go home.
and sleep away my troubles.
sigggh.
my poor tummy's not doing well as well.
and my poor expressions?
takes a whole lot to put a smile i guess?
bring me back my sunshine.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
i dont know what to say....
but being alone kills.
anyhows,
slept in today.
because it's wednesday!
and i've no school.
slept so much i skipped lunch.
woke up and rushed to school.
sat thru the meeting.
went a lil crazy in the clubroom.
my sailors keep me happy...
thanks for putting a smile on my face.
hahas.
FO camp's coming up.
bittersweet feelings.
oh wells. let's see how it goes.
one step at a time...
i'm trying to pull myself together.
it hurts to be alone in class.
like i've no friends..
but i wanna do well.
and i'm gonna strive.
bing bang boom!
i hope my life doesnt go crashing down...
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
im in school right now.
feeling so satisfied with myself.
i actually did my IAF tutorial.
hahas. feeling proud for myself.
gotta keep it up. ;)
im in the lab right now.
and im suffering so bad.
cramps and gastric at the same time.
how'd that suck?
=/ oh wells.
just slacking here before lecture.
cos why? i've no one to go off with anyway.
sigh...
lonesome school days.
how'd that suck?
but nevermind.
just one more year... and i'm outta here.
there's PT later today.
i hope people turn up.
but if they don't, i don't blame them.
i informed them last minute.
i think i need ginko biloba!!!
my memory's failing.
anyhows...
i think i should stop here.
i miss you...
Sunday, April 22, 2007
well done SP sailors. all of you did well.
especially zhen hao and shane.
you guys met your expectations.
and the radial sailors,
you guys did exceptionally well for first timers.
keep up the good work.
i'm really proud of all of you.
i'm damn shagged.
i'm rather disappointed with myself.
probably cos of the lack of mood,
the stupid conditions,
and my fuckin' weight...
that probably slowed my boat down a mil.
anyhows, well done mel!
3rd for radial ladies...
but not so lucky next time..
gonna beat you! hahas.
im feeling really moody.
stuff in my mind...
so many things to settle.
i don't know where to start.
i'm all built up emotionally.
no idea how to handle it.
but anyhows, i'll survive.
gotta turn in early.
muscles aching terribly.
too bad we din snap a pic of all of us who raced.
but anyways, we'll have many more opportunities.
it really felt great to have a strong team for a regatta.
GO SP SAILING!
Thursday, April 19, 2007
yes. i am depressed.
i can't help but think of it.
when im out,
i still think..
and i just feel like going home.
when im home,
i just feel darn emo.
and i just break down.
why did it turn out like that?
why do people bicker?
all those smelly mouths.
they don't just stink, they cause harm.
sigh.
thanks jon.
you were there for me.
you offered advice...
and you kinda psyched me out.
it's all about me fending for myself now.
no one can help me..
but it's just so difficult.
especially when it's haunting.
this and many other things married together.
it just kills the spirit in me,
drowns my soul,
and takes my breath away.
i feel so lifeless.
i feel like running away.
i so need a break.
but things just keep streaming in.
and im so suffocating.
take me to a faraway place.
give me a breather please.
stop giving me such a hard time.
im a girl after all.
i may be strong but not that strong.
i still have a heart (a rather weak one)
and i do sucuumb to crying.
arghs.
fuck this world and all its miseries.
Monday, April 16, 2007
when i thought it was going well....
you shattered me...
i'm so vulnerable...
too serious too soon.
arghs
i hate myself lah.
don't ask me what.
i just feel so alone.
and probably just let me be alone.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
and so my attachment has ended.
my time in moove media was GREAT.
loved every bit of it.
especially all of the bitching...
HAHAHAS.
but really, i've learnt heaps.
it was really a wonderful time..
the night before,
i stayed up till bout 2am..
preparing the gifts for all of them.
was doing this gift tag...
cutting and pasting.
phew.
tedious man.
then the next morning,
jielong and i went like 1/2 hour earlier.
and we were tying the gift tags with gold string.
then we went to put the gifts on their tables.
everyone got something.
so that would have been like 42 people i think?
all the sales people got chocolates,
and a lil soft toy.
that includes the finance and traffic peeps,
plus the production and taxi side.
and for mrs kwek and valerie,
they got the chocolate and 2 doggies.
rach and lucy got the same,
but just an extra SUNFLOWER.
they were so happy i tell you...
and it was WORTH IT.
so our colleagues decided to treat us to BOTAK JONES.
we had that for lunch at toa payoh north.
and we wiped them off man.
300gms of RIBEYE STEAK.
omg. i was so bloated.
and it was not bad after all.
hahahas. ;)
and that night.
hahahahas.
xinni... you were so high.
and yes you did say stuff you didn't have to.
but it's all over.
we had a ball of a time.
even though it was just..
me, jk, jooting, marc, xinni and zhen hao.
i bet we still had heaps of fun..
especially with the drinking game.
just one round was enough to get some of you DAMN HIGH.
XINNI! CAI QUAN! ;)
oh yes.
and my phone has DIED.
it pronounced dead on friday.
i've sent it for repair.
so right now, i'm just using a back up phone.
please leave your name when you msg,
or tell me who you are when you call.
cos i'd have no idea.
all my contacts are in that phone.
accks.
alrighties for now.
i just came back from a swim.
i think i swam 20 laps.
and im tired.
OMG. i'm so unfit.
and to think i'm going for a regatta next week.
i hope i'll be still alive when i recover.
MUAAHHAHAS.
cheerios for now,
school starts tomorrow.
yayy!
LAUGHING FRIDAYS.
I SO CAN'T WAIT!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
it's been great working here.
i love the culture,
i love the people,
i love the environment.
AND I LOVE THE OFFICE.
it's really colourful and bright.
LOOOOVE IT.
this is my last week there.
treasuring every minute of it.
returning next week to help a bit..
and also to join in the party,
that we've all worked hard for.
YAYY!
gotta start cracking my heads on what to get for them.
they've helped me so much in many ways.
to WAKE UP for one,
and to realise many other things for two,
and for me to grow as an individual for three.
ESPCIALLY LUCY.
she has constantly been keeping me going,
motivating and helping me in many ways.
she's like my mother at work...
and then there's VAL,
with her constant encouragement and motivation.
and especially what she's said to me.
THANKS A MILLION.
i will remember this for life...
and take it with me wherever i go in my career.
and always remember the confidence you had in me.
i will not let you down.
lalala.
attachment period just flies man.
maybe cos i was kinda enjoying it.
and im kinda getting used to it.
i wouldnt mind continuing. heh.
MAYBE i havent seen the tough side yet.
but i'm geared up for it actually.
cant wait to come out and work..
and start my own business!
yipeeeee!
AWESOME THREESOME!
HERE I COME!
MUAHAHAHS.
i bet you guys missed me ayy?
hahas. now i'm like the mother of the "BURR"s
the "BURR"s are: xinni, grace and mel.
hahahas. DON'T MESS WITH US.
love you babes.
missed you heaps too.
and last but not least.
my baby boy!
too bad the officers in SAF are fucked up.
i can't meet him today.
but that's fine..
i can see him tomorrow anyways.
just that i'm missing me so much.
*huggies. see ya soon hunn.
goodbyes.
(yes i'm in a good mood)
oh yes wait! the sports manager of SAA, SP,
he's cute lahh. hahahas.
he's helped me heaps.
and i know mr kwok,
our next officer-in-charge,
should favour us quite a bit.
he's really supportive.
to a point we're getting full subsidy for everything.
which includes transportation and entry fees
(even though it's late)
isn't it great? HAHAS.
i'm looking forward to a great year ahead!
ALL ABOARD!
CHEERIOS.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
three complete idiots,
one gems class on friday,
havoc wreaks.
EEKS!
grace,
xinni,
ME.
complete chaos.
the AWESOME THREESOME!
roxor!
so i'm meeting grace in like an hour's time.
and it's so awesome.
cos i miss her! hahas.
riggght.
we're catching a movie.
and off to sch we go.
lalalala.
i can't wait for sch to start.
and i'll look forward to fridays!
YAYY!
baby's helping his mom out today.
i miss him heaps.
though i just spent the night with him.
heh. :) he's my angel.
*SMUACKS!
see you soon babes.
tonight or something k?
love ya.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
baby,
words can't describe how much i love you.
i simply wanna be by your side,
everyday of my life.
put aside our differences,
strive to avoid disagreements.
I'm sure we can make it better.
ultimately it's love that binds.
race coming up.
i'm so unfit.
get me out of lethargy.
it's weighing me down.
some people disgust me.
some just don't deserve sympathy.
chances can never be enough for them.
talk about childish,
there are so many people around who are just that.
even adults.
christ, bless me.
so much so i won't be a hypocrite.
i believe im not what i see others to be.
i hope.
been lazy to update.
so there's that for now.
lovin' my hunny bunny! =)
